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Successful Professional Communications Start with These Rules
By Tom Kagy | 17 Jul, 2025

Make sure you're helping your objective by presenting yourself as a knowledgeable thinker, not a word-wasting buffoon.

The first rule of professional communications is to shut up until you have something cogent to say about the topic at hand.  Speaking (or emailing) with nothing of significance is professional suicide.  Saying something of little or no import is like asking to be ignored the next time you open your mouth or send an email.

The second rule is to begin communications by showing that you understand the primary concern of the client, colleague, investor or vendor (counterparty) by starting your communication with a preface that cogently reiterates the primary concern of your counterparty.  

"The timeliness of our delivery is your main concern.  That's why we will..."  "Cost efficiency being your primary concern, we can..."  "Since you're promising to beat the competition in price, we can add that to the contract."  If you aren't able to concisely state the main concern of your counterparty, you aren't yet in the conversation.

The third rule is to treat your counterparty as an equal, not a superior or an inferior.  It can be difficult for a young professional to see an older, far more successful, wealthier counterparty as being on the same level.  If you don't have the confidence and backbone to put yourself on the same plane as the President, Chairman, Top Partner, Head Surgeon, Superstar Salesperson, Indian Chief, etc, you may not have what it takes to succeed as a professional.  Perhaps something in a clerical or research capacity would be more suitable until you feel able to address everyone as an equal.

Why would a high-level person not take offense at a young whippersnapper like you addressing them as an equal?  Because they're not stupid.  Only a stupid person would waste time or money on someone without the balls to be at their most resourceful and candid.  And it's not possible to be at your best when you're being obsequious.  Imagine hiring a lawyer who can't hold his head up high and meet the gaze of the senior partner, a judge or a CEO as an equal.  In written communications your words should focus on clarity and concision, not on paying homage to some misguided notion of respect. 

By the same token, trying to assert some asinine sense of superiority over your counterparty is equally stupid.  You will not only offend but also prove that you don't have the intellectual confidence to deal with everyone as an equal.  A truly confident person doesn't need the crutch of social hierarchy to make themselves feel important.

Everyone is entitled the courtesy and respect you would show any human being.  Nothing more.

Of course if the other person is disrespectful you are free to cut off communications (since he's shown himself to be a subhuman idiot) or respond in kind to show them that you don't respond to intimidation.  If you continue an unequal conversation, you're wasting your time.

The final rule of professional communication is to confirm what has been discussed or agreed upon.  Often conversations, or even email chains, lead the other side to reach conclusions that may differ from yours.  If those differences aren't caught on the spot, you've wasted your time and set yourself up for future disagreements, suspicion, resentment, even litigation.

Everyone is entitled the courtesy and respect you would show any human being. Nothing more.

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