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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
The White Stuff: Whiting Wongs & Wonging Whites
hey're our neighbors, buddies, allies, enemies, clients, bosses, employees, lovers and spouses. Many of us have more daily contact with Whites than with other Asians. Consequently, we often feel we know them better than they can ever know us. Maybe that's at the heart of our frustration as Asian Americans. They are as ubiquitous and pervasive as the air we breath while to them it seems we are eternal curiosities, outsiders, exotics.
Bridging the gap?
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And so we sometimes find ourselves lashing out with nasty generalizations about the people we blame for all that seems wrong with American society and, more specifically, our place in it. They are ignorant, shallow, boorish, smelly, sneaky, treacherous, malicious, dumb, weird -- in short, all the labels we feel have been so unfairly slapped on us.
But even as we hurl such epithets we cannot forget the countless acts of kindness, warmth, generosity, friendship, passion and love that we have enjoyed from these very same people. As our anger and frustration subside, we recognize that our fates are inextricably intertwined, not merely in sharing a world, a nation, a society, an economy, a culture -- but often in sharing even our most intimate lives. One in five of today's Asian American marriages are to Whites. And contrary to the imbalance of the past, the ratio of new AM/WF marriages to new AF/WM marriages is steadily approaching unity.
So we naturally have a strong interest in decoding the other side of the equation. Understanding is a two-way street. Fortunately, there are Whites who have enough interest in us as individuals to share their perspectives on us and on their interactions with us. This page is for those who -- as corny as it may sound -- have chosen to serve as bridges.
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Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
I am an American white male who stumbled upon your web site seeking information to learn more about Chinese dating culture, customs, and traditions so that I may ease tension as much as possible between my Chinese-American girlfriend's family and their idea of her dating a white male during our first meeting. It seems to me that more information should be published regarding the area, as when i search asian dating customs on the web the return is all international dating services.
Is there any information regarding this subject readily available so that the bridge may be brought closer together? Many of my generation are past the racism, from here the details of each culture and the general understanding of them will enrich the communication enabling more harmony between the cultures.
how can we start?
Bowman
archershot@hotmail.com
Monday, July 01, 2002 at 11:46:52 (PDT)
AC Dropout,
i had to laugh at your post.....i think you're the first person i've heard use the term "uber-dingo".....anyway i'll be spending 2 weeks working in Minnesota in August....now that's what i call the sticks!....i checked and you can't get a direct flight there anywhere!
will i have to watch out for grizzly bears when i step outside?....perhaphs of the genetically mutated slightly agitated uber variety.
anyway i'd be interested to see how cosmopolitan the mid-west is....gimme Sydney anyday!
maxdacat
Monday, July 01, 2002 at 02:33:34 (PDT)
MLK:
I've also met only one American-raised Asian kid whose dominant language is not English. His circumstances are quite unusual, to say the least.
The kids whom ESL teacher deals with might be similar, in milder form, to those discussed in this Washington Post article back from the beginning of the month.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A18674-2002Jun8.html
Basically those kids, overwhelmingly from poor, single-parent families with no relatives living nearby, grew up without much exposure to ANY language or interactive speech at all, not just not in English, but neither in the foreign tongue. So their language development has been stunted.
In the long run, however, everyone born in this country learns English. Most forget their ancestral languages too. Now someone tell Pat Buchanan before he gets a heart attack.
T.H. Lien
Sunday, June 30, 2002 at 22:11:38 (PDT)
to ESL teacher
Wow...your experiences don't seem to jive with most of what's happening out in the real world. Kids who come to the States at an early age pick up English without the parents even realizing it, and lose their mother tongue even before the parents have had a chance to instill it in them to any degree of proficiency. I see this over and over again, with each new cousin being born and each new nephew or niece growing up within my family. They are not allowed to speak English at home, but out of earshot of the adults, the little folks chatter away like magpies, in English!
I am bilingual, but that's only because my father, the dictator, did not allow any English to be spoken in the home when I was growing up either. It didn't stop me from being extremely proficient in English. It only slowed me down a fraction of an inch.
MLK
Saturday, June 29, 2002 at 17:16:37 (PDT)
AC dropout,
Yeah, you really have to commit to a certain lifestyle, such as yours, in order to be fluent in Chinese while growing up in the US.
By the way, somehow I just can't get myself to like those Taiwan soap operas. Girls are portrayed as such submissive, powerless, pretty little creatures waiting to be loved. But if you don't mind them and use them as a way to keep up with Chinese, good for you.
My bf did think about moving to Taiwan to live for a year, in a half-joking-half-serious way, after being inspired by a couple of our friends who relocated to Singapore on a one-year-long job assignment. It was highly possible in the high-tech company that he works for when the economy was in great shape. But now with the economy recession...We'll see.
Red Red Seashell
Friday, June 28, 2002 at 10:55:45 (PDT)
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