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ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
The White Stuff: Whiting Wongs & Wonging Whites
hey're our neighbors, buddies, allies, enemies, clients, bosses, employees, lovers and spouses. Many of us have more daily contact with Whites than with other Asians. Consequently, we often feel we know them better than they can ever know us. Maybe that's at the heart of our frustration as Asian Americans. They are as ubiquitous and pervasive as the air we breath while to them it seems we are eternal curiosities, outsiders, exotics.
Bridging the gap?
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And so we sometimes find ourselves lashing out with nasty generalizations about the people we blame for all that seems wrong with American society and, more specifically, our place in it. They are ignorant, shallow, boorish, smelly, sneaky, treacherous, malicious, dumb, weird -- in short, all the labels we feel have been so unfairly slapped on us.
But even as we hurl such epithets we cannot forget the countless acts of kindness, warmth, generosity, friendship, passion and love that we have enjoyed from these very same people. As our anger and frustration subside, we recognize that our fates are inextricably intertwined, not merely in sharing a world, a nation, a society, an economy, a culture -- but often in sharing even our most intimate lives. One in five of today's Asian American marriages are to Whites. And contrary to the imbalance of the past, the ratio of new AM/WF marriages to new AF/WM marriages is steadily approaching unity.
So we naturally have a strong interest in decoding the other side of the equation. Understanding is a two-way street. Fortunately, there are Whites who have enough interest in us as individuals to share their perspectives on us and on their interactions with us. This page is for those who -- as corny as it may sound -- have chosen to serve as bridges.
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Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
Dear krasavitsa
Do you know that your name in
Russian meas " princess " or "beauty"
like in Tchaikowsky's "Sleeping Beauty ". We;ll I really don't want
commenting about this stuff, but how did you manage to call yourself a princess or a beauty ?
pilipinoako
Sunday, June 02, 2002 at 03:28:32 (PDT)
Okay, APOLOGIES, i shouldn't generalize. Generalization is bad. There are exceptions to every rule. If i hypothetically were to become single (God forbid) and subsequently date an Anglo-Aussie, he would have to:
- Not have a strong "ocker" accent (mild ones like mine are fine)
- Be proficient in at least two languages
- Not drink beer on a regular basis
- Not be obsessed with either footy or cricket
- Have travelled overseas
- Not appear to think that being uneducated and/or verbally inarticulate is something to be proud of
- Never have used the term "intellectual elite" as a pejorative
- Believe in knowledge for its own sake
- Not overestimate his own intellectual capabilities
- Be able to see the merits of socialism without being a try-hard, image-driven, lefty activist
- Believe he has an obligation to look after his parents
- Actually read books for pleasure
- Not dismiss classical music as "poofy"
- Not think being "poofy" is necessarily a bad thing
- Not think that the assimilation vs multiculturalism debate is the nation's most pressing issue
- Have a sense of irony
- Definitely not have an "Asian fetish"
- Not think it's normal to start conversations with total strangers by asking where they "come from"
- Not call women "chicks"
- Not have a habitually vacant facial expression
- Have an other-worldly expression (that is not drug-induced)
- Have an artistic side
- Believe in true reconciliation with Aboriginal peoples
And on top of that he would have to be good looking, responsible, not materialistic, and all that jazz.
It's not a lot to ask, but for some reason I've never met an Anglo-Aussie that fulfilled these criteria. Other ethnicities always got to me first...
Thanks for your patience, people. (Sorry to the Americans, didn't mean to colonize your forum!)
krasavitsa
Sunday, June 02, 2002 at 00:02:31 (PDT)
Dr Freud:
Your post is an interesting case study. You're really trying to 'defend' Anglo-Aussies, but you try to hide the fact by disguising the post as 'advice' to me.
In other words, you're attempting to deny the fact that it IS possible for a person to legitimately NOT have a preference for Anglo-Aussies. You're basically asserting that if i'm not attracted to Anglo-Aussies, i need a counsellor.
The defensiveness in your posting is very apparent.
I never said I hated Anglo-Australians. I said i'm not attracted to them. And i don't accept any lame arguments that there's something wrong with *me* just because of my preferences. Everybody has preferences. No, it is not 'weird'.
Your psychobabble is a common manipulative technique - to deny or divert from the fact that there might be something less-than-perfect about Anglo-Australians, you make the problem
out to be mine or my parents fault.
You are sooo transparent.
krasavitsa (don't try this shit with me)
Friday, May 31, 2002 at 18:31:00 (PDT)
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