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GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
The White Stuff: Whiting Wongs & Wonging Whites
hey're our neighbors, buddies, allies, enemies, clients, bosses, employees, lovers and spouses. Many of us have more daily contact with Whites than with other Asians. Consequently, we often feel we know them better than they can ever know us. Maybe that's at the heart of our frustration as Asian Americans. They are as ubiquitous and pervasive as the air we breath while to them it seems we are eternal curiosities, outsiders, exotics.
Bridging the gap?
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And so we sometimes find ourselves lashing out with nasty generalizations about the people we blame for all that seems wrong with American society and, more specifically, our place in it. They are ignorant, shallow, boorish, smelly, sneaky, treacherous, malicious, dumb, weird -- in short, all the labels we feel have been so unfairly slapped on us.
But even as we hurl such epithets we cannot forget the countless acts of kindness, warmth, generosity, friendship, passion and love that we have enjoyed from these very same people. As our anger and frustration subside, we recognize that our fates are inextricably intertwined, not merely in sharing a world, a nation, a society, an economy, a culture -- but often in sharing even our most intimate lives. One in five of today's Asian American marriages are to Whites. And contrary to the imbalance of the past, the ratio of new AM/WF marriages to new AF/WM marriages is steadily approaching unity.
So we naturally have a strong interest in decoding the other side of the equation. Understanding is a two-way street. Fortunately, there are Whites who have enough interest in us as individuals to share their perspectives on us and on their interactions with us. This page is for those who -- as corny as it may sound -- have chosen to serve as bridges.
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Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
Krasavitsa
Think COUNSELLING.
May help you out a bit. Sounds like your parents raised you in an enviornment of self contempt and no pride in being Asian so you transfer your self hatred to the poor Aussie fellas. You need to work through this weird transference because it will resurface in other ways as the years go by, and its only masking the real attitude of self loathing you are feeling.
Dr Freud
Friday, May 31, 2002 at 06:40:47 (PDT)
Chinese Aussie Bloke
That's okay, forgiven and forgotten :) By the way, when i was in New York earlier this year, i saw a really fantastic show of Chinese theatre, opera, dancing and traditional music. It was a celebration of Chinese New Year by the Chinese-American Arts and Culture Association. It was sooo, absolutely, fantastically cool! Even though i'm of Chinese origin, I'd never seen anything like that before. I had no idea there was such a complex variety of regional styles in China. It gave me a real sense of the hugeness, greatness and glory of the Chinese empire.
As i watched it i had this really strange feeling, like seeing the best of my cultural heritage for the first time. Even though i've never been to China and can hardly speak Chinese, by the end of the show i was so excited, like, "That's me! That's my culture! Mine! All mine!" :)) Hee hee, if i were to write this on an Australian forum, i'd get some indignant responses from assimilationists ("guardians of the sacred national identity"). Anyway, do you know if Australia has anything like the Chinese-American Arts and Culture Association? New York rocks! Everybody should go to New York and hug one of the locals.
Krasavitsa (born again Chinese)
Thursday, May 30, 2002 at 21:51:40 (PDT)
don't trip over that can of whitewash:
Are you an Anglo-Aussie? Sorry if my post offended you. I'm not denying that they're generally decent people and can make great friends, but i've just never been physically or romantically attracted to any, as yet.
As for the 'forces' you mentioned, everybody who lives in a society is subjected to cultural forces of some kind, and sometimes they can be negative. Yes, my self-image was negative for much of my childhood. But becoming aware of the *reasons* behind it has helped to overcome it. My biggest regret now is having cut so many ties with my cultural background.
Dating a more recently immigrant Chinese wouldn't make me any less internally Western in my thinking. But at least having a Western university education provides me with the tools for critiqueing the very culture that made me.
Yes, i'm dating a WM, a Russian. There are real (physical and cultural) differences between different ethnic groups of 'Whites', as there are among Asians and Negroes. I happen to like Slavic features. As for Russian cultural values - perhaps difficult to grasp at first, but when i did they made a whole lot of sense. For example, they showed me that when you truly get rid of judgmentalism, the need to push for either individualism or conformity disappears. It also represented, for me, an escape from the superficialities of the east-west dichotomy.
This is just a contemplative analysis, though. I'm with my guy due to an inexplicable emotional and physical attraction, (because he's the best guy in the world, ever!), and that's all that matters in the end.
Krasavitsa (a real work of art :)
Thursday, May 30, 2002 at 19:37:35 (PDT)
curious girl,
I was referring to the couples here in LA. Since you replied, which part of LA are you in?
I haven't complained at all...
Just what I've noticed...
Thursday, May 30, 2002 at 16:22:05 (PDT)
Krasavitsa:
Sounds to me like you've found someone to blame for your negative self-image; the whitwashing/brainwashing whiteys and their "forces." But you're dating one, right? You're a real piece of work.
don't trip over that can of whitewash
Thursday, May 30, 2002 at 10:57:32 (PDT)
Krasavitsa,
That's quite a story. I can see your point about the difference in your mind between an "Anglo Aussie" and your Russian boyfriend.
Asian Machiavelli
Thursday, May 30, 2002 at 06:00:29 (PDT)
"....i think by complaining about it you are coming across as more american than you think."
maxdacat
Um, I am American and I have no problem coming across as such. Didn't you read my previous posts? I"m a WF.
"i have seen some whites who live in asia and totally try to fit in. if they are losing their culture no-one is shedding any tears yet there is all this kerfuffle about asians in america..."
I agree that no matter what race you are, if you move to a country that is predominantly of another race, of course you are going to try to fit in and may lose some of your cultural identity, it's only normal.
?? curious girl
Wednesday, May 29, 2002 at 19:16:00 (PDT)
Krasavista,
You're right. It was a very general observation (as most are on these polls), and apologies to all offended.
Chinese Aussie Bloke
Wednesday, May 29, 2002 at 16:24:21 (PDT)
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