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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
The White Stuff: Whiting Wongs & Wonging Whites
hey're our neighbors, buddies, allies, enemies, clients, bosses, employees, lovers and spouses. Many of us have more daily contact with Whites than with other Asians. Consequently, we often feel we know them better than they can ever know us. Maybe that's at the heart of our frustration as Asian Americans. They are as ubiquitous and pervasive as the air we breath while to them it seems we are eternal curiosities, outsiders, exotics.
Bridging the gap?
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And so we sometimes find ourselves lashing out with nasty generalizations about the people we blame for all that seems wrong with American society and, more specifically, our place in it. They are ignorant, shallow, boorish, smelly, sneaky, treacherous, malicious, dumb, weird -- in short, all the labels we feel have been so unfairly slapped on us.
But even as we hurl such epithets we cannot forget the countless acts of kindness, warmth, generosity, friendship, passion and love that we have enjoyed from these very same people. As our anger and frustration subside, we recognize that our fates are inextricably intertwined, not merely in sharing a world, a nation, a society, an economy, a culture -- but often in sharing even our most intimate lives. One in five of today's Asian American marriages are to Whites. And contrary to the imbalance of the past, the ratio of new AM/WF marriages to new AF/WM marriages is steadily approaching unity.
So we naturally have a strong interest in decoding the other side of the equation. Understanding is a two-way street. Fortunately, there are Whites who have enough interest in us as individuals to share their perspectives on us and on their interactions with us. This page is for those who -- as corny as it may sound -- have chosen to serve as bridges.
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
Alex Hawkins:
I think it's safe to say that there are very few Interracial/Transethnic relationships which get portrayed realistically on TV or in the movies, regardless of what the ethnic/gender mix is.
I think the more relevant issue is how do you and your wife live your life together with your son and how does that help "build a bridge" between the Asian and Caucasian communities.
Hank Lewis
Monday, May 13, 2002 at 06:58:58 (PDT)
Realist:
Sorry bub, you're about 40 years out of date on that "Suzy Wong" crap. Shut up and go away.
Janet Chang-Hawkins
Monday, May 13, 2002 at 06:55:26 (PDT)
I think it is common to take an interest about people that are in the same dating or marriage situations as yourself, especially if it is a situation of dating or marrying outside of your culture or race. My cousin-in- law is Dutch /Caucasian like myself, and she is married to a Chinese man. It is funny because whenever a Chinese man walks in someplace with a Caucasian woman, all parties will look at each other. It happens even more since we have babies, and we see mixed racial couples with Hapa babies.
My husband jokes that it must be an "egg" thing. But, then again, he notices too!
Hannybunbun
Monday, May 13, 2002 at 06:47:51 (PDT)
Alexander Lee Hawkins:
If you want something that depicts WM/AF couples REALISTICALLY, try watching, "The World of Susie Wong".
Yes, a significantly large number of WM/AF marriages are from White male G.I.'s who picked up their wives while stationed in Asia.
realist
Saturday, May 11, 2002 at 20:43:32 (PDT)
Alexander Lee Hawkins,
Obviously, only a WM who very insecure about his relationship with an AF would notice and get all upset over something like that. Are you suggesting that the media should glorify WM/AF relationships so it somehow would become mainstream, and folks like you wouldn't have to deal with the public stereotypes? That's a very selfish thought, and irresponsible as well. I feel sad for whomever you are with. Man, what a loser.
Proud Terp
Saturday, May 11, 2002 at 03:37:21 (PDT)
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