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The White Stuff: Whiting Wongs & Wonging Whites

hey're our neighbors, buddies, allies, enemies, clients, bosses, employees, lovers and spouses. Many of us have more daily contact with Whites than with other Asians. Consequently, we often feel we know them better than they can ever know us. Maybe that's at the heart of our frustration as Asian Americans. They are as ubiquitous and pervasive as the air we breath while to them it seems we are eternal curiosities, outsiders, exotics.
Friends
Bridging the gap?

     And so we sometimes find ourselves lashing out with nasty generalizations about the people we blame for all that seems wrong with American society and, more specifically, our place in it. They are ignorant, shallow, boorish, smelly, sneaky, treacherous, malicious, dumb, weird -- in short, all the labels we feel have been so unfairly slapped on us.
     But even as we hurl such epithets we cannot forget the countless acts of kindness, warmth, generosity, friendship, passion and love that we have enjoyed from these very same people. As our anger and frustration subside, we recognize that our fates are inextricably intertwined, not merely in sharing a world, a nation, a society, an economy, a culture -- but often in sharing even our most intimate lives. One in five of today's Asian American marriages are to Whites. And contrary to the imbalance of the past, the ratio of new AM/WF marriages to new AF/WM marriages is steadily approaching unity.
     So we naturally have a strong interest in decoding the other side of the equation. Understanding is a two-way street. Fortunately, there are Whites who have enough interest in us as individuals to share their perspectives on us and on their interactions with us. This page is for those who -- as corny as it may sound -- have chosen to serve as bridges.

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WHAT YOU SAY

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(Updated Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)

Alexander Lee Hawkins-Chang,

Stop complaining and whining! Don't you know how unattractive that is? All the more because it's only one show. Imagine being an Asian American man. Have some sympathy and compassion!

Marilyn Monroe
   Thursday, May 09, 2002 at 11:37:36 (PDT)
"This is a bogus issue as far as I'm concerned. Jealousy is a human emotiobn that doesn't discriminate according to race.
More to the point: We all bleed the same."

Justin,

Grow up. The German Nazi's during WWII also felt "jealousy" as an expression of "human emotions" and the Jews of that time were also human and "bled all the same," yet pointing out that vacuous fact and solving the problem of racialized tension are two fundamentally different things.

Try to connect the dots. Don't be an idiot.

Asian Piranha
   Thursday, May 09, 2002 at 11:21:27 (PDT)
Alexander Lee Hawkins,

WELCOME TO THE ASIAN MAN'S WORLD.

DEAL WITH IT
AM, IL
   Thursday, May 09, 2002 at 10:54:02 (PDT)
Indifferent AM:

It wasn't just that Oprah Special. The Media likes to show FLUFF transethenic marriages involving White men/Non-White Women--either the White guy is an idiot who's non-White partner is obviously "In Charge" or he's some nerd's fantasy played out with an Asian or other non-White woman of NO SUBSTANCE. Look at Helen and Tom Willis on the Jeffersons--the guy was a drunken buffoon and his wife was always having to cover for him.

However, anytime there is a serious news piece, or a documentary involving transethnic marriages, the primary focus is on White women with non-White men, or other combos which don't involve White men at all. A lot of Americans believe the most common transethnic marriage is Black Male-White Female (when in fact it's White Male-Asian Female) due to such so-called "factual news" shows and "real-life documentaries."

I'm not saying that those other relationship combos SHOULDN'T be shown, but the thing is Transethnic relationships, including those of White Males and non-White females are common enough to be shown and depicted REALISTICALLY, and not as some kind of a joke or stupid fantasy. That's it!
Alexander Lee Hawkins
   Thursday, May 09, 2002 at 10:18:41 (PDT)
> One thing which gets me really pissed off at times has to do with the unequal views of transethnic marriages the media portrays.

>But what wasn't shown was a White man with ANY non-White woman. Oprah Winfrey was sending a not-so-subtle message in her program that White men are ALL RACISTS and would NEVER GET WITH A NON-WHITE WOMAN FOR REAL LOVE.

Well...well...well...this is the first time I hear a WM bitching about lack of media portrayal of WM/non-WF pairings. If this rare Oprah incident gets you so riled up perhaps it's time you feel the short end of what AMs have been getting from the media.

geez...talk about who's the cry baby here.
indifferent AM
   Wednesday, May 08, 2002 at 12:58:49 (PDT)
Alexander Lee Hawkins,

Calm down. Just because one episode on Oprah did not show a WM/non-White female couple does not mean the entire media is involved in a conspiracy against WM/non-WF couples. Last time I checked the American media, WMs overwhelmingly had all the leading roles, having relationships with women of all colors.
B. Lee
   Tuesday, May 07, 2002 at 21:43:38 (PDT)
Alexander Lee Hawkins,

Whoever said interracial relationships are easy? If you indeed are married to the woman of your dreams, then don't take all these side garbage too close to your heart. WM, by all means, has it easy compared to BM, AM, and HM in all aspects of life. Stereotypes requires time & action to correct. All this whining will only make you look even "weaker".

Proud Terp
   Tuesday, May 07, 2002 at 08:09:30 (PDT)
Alexander Lee Hawkins:
Heh. Reading your comments reminded me of Steve Sailer's assertion that in 90% of sex scenes in Hollywood movies, the man's complexion is darker than the woman's:
http://www.isteve.com/blondes.htm

Anyway, I think you are noticing only the bad and not the good. This country being 70% white, white people still dominate on-screen positions in the media ...
T.H. Lien
   Tuesday, May 07, 2002 at 00:46:09 (PDT)

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