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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
The White Stuff: Whiting Wongs & Wonging Whites
hey're our neighbors, buddies, allies, enemies, clients, bosses, employees, lovers and spouses. Many of us have more daily contact with Whites than with other Asians. Consequently, we often feel we know them better than they can ever know us. Maybe that's at the heart of our frustration as Asian Americans. They are as ubiquitous and pervasive as the air we breath while to them it seems we are eternal curiosities, outsiders, exotics.
Bridging the gap?
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And so we sometimes find ourselves lashing out with nasty generalizations about the people we blame for all that seems wrong with American society and, more specifically, our place in it. They are ignorant, shallow, boorish, smelly, sneaky, treacherous, malicious, dumb, weird -- in short, all the labels we feel have been so unfairly slapped on us.
But even as we hurl such epithets we cannot forget the countless acts of kindness, warmth, generosity, friendship, passion and love that we have enjoyed from these very same people. As our anger and frustration subside, we recognize that our fates are inextricably intertwined, not merely in sharing a world, a nation, a society, an economy, a culture -- but often in sharing even our most intimate lives. One in five of today's Asian American marriages are to Whites. And contrary to the imbalance of the past, the ratio of new AM/WF marriages to new AF/WM marriages is steadily approaching unity.
So we naturally have a strong interest in decoding the other side of the equation. Understanding is a two-way street. Fortunately, there are Whites who have enough interest in us as individuals to share their perspectives on us and on their interactions with us. This page is for those who -- as corny as it may sound -- have chosen to serve as bridges.
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Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
One thing which gets me really pissed off at times has to do with the unequal views of transethnic marriages the media portrays.
For example, if a White WOMAN is with a Black (or Asian or Latin or Jewish or Middle-Eastern) MAN, she is shown as "forward thinking, color-blind, progressive, ethnically sensitive" and things of that ilk. However, if a White MAN is shown with an Asian (or Black or Latin or Jewish or whatever) WOMAN, he is portrayed as a "Colonialist, Fetishist, Master-minded, Subjugating, Loser, who can't handle a strong-minded opinionated White Woman."
That is something majorly F***ED UP in my opinion. Oprah Winfrey once did a show called "shades of a single protein" which addressed the question of racism and so forth. During one segment they addressed transethnic love. They showed a Black man kissinga White woman, then they showed a Latin Man kissing a Black woman, then they showed an Asian man kissing a White woman. But what wasn't shown was a White man with ANY non-White woman. Oprah Winfrey was sending a not-so-subtle message in her program that White men are ALL RACISTS and would NEVER GET WITH A NON-WHITE WOMAN FOR REAL LOVE.
THIS IS F***ING BULLSHIT! I am married to an Asian woman, who is highly opionated, not shy about expressing it and who isn't the least bit submissive. I have respect for her and love her dearly. However, it seems that the media whom some of these Asian guys gripe about have just as much of a tendency to stereotype White Anglo-Saxon Protestant men--specifically they stereotype us as racists.
Pardon my foul words folks. I normally just read and don't post, but this is something which has burned me up for some time and finally the site has a forum for a few of us who are here too.
Alexander Lee Hawkins
Monday, May 06, 2002 at 06:38:45 (PDT)
to "mixing has its advantages"
Yes I am in a wonderful relationship with an AA man and I couldn't be happier, that is why I come to this site, to learn more about these issues. I think your post was very positive and hopeful!
Psych101- very insightful, I agree.
curious girl
Friday, May 03, 2002 at 08:44:00 (PDT)
Hey can anyone really define White?
White as in getting away with murder like OJ? Or just light skinned? Hey Asia is a big continent and the people there have dark to light skin, blue - green eyes ,straight to curly hair, narrow to round eyes.
Russians have been in Asia for about 20 thousand years are they not Asian?
Race has become a political platform more than scientific/anthroplogistic idea. My ex was Finnish from Finland and the Finnish have an Asian lineage of the Ural-Altaic group related to the Siberian Russians and the Japanese.
Though she is blue eyed and blonde hair she can tan very well. My present wife is 3/4 Slovak and 1/4 Hungarian (Huns) and zero tan. Go to central Europe - you will find "white" people who are descendents of the Mongolian franchise called the Huns. The point is each race itself is a mix. People ignorantly say "I'm this or I'm that." as if they did some kind of mitochondrial genetic testing. From my research my ancestors may be dark skinned, big nosed, curly haired Indonesian people called the Chams
(conquered people now under Vietnam).
My latin last name is from my French ancestry. So if you took my French and her Slovak there's no mixed marriage. If you took the Hungarian and Vietnamese there's not much mixing.
But when you get creative and match her 3/4 slovak with my Vietnamese then
there is mixing. People and there politics are always MIXED - UP!
I yam what I yam
adam_martin@yahoo.com
Thursday, May 02, 2002 at 17:18:14 (PDT)
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