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GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
The White Stuff: Whiting Wongs & Wonging Whites
hey're our neighbors, buddies, allies, enemies, clients, bosses, employees, lovers and spouses. Many of us have more daily contact with Whites than with other Asians. Consequently, we often feel we know them better than they can ever know us. Maybe that's at the heart of our frustration as Asian Americans. They are as ubiquitous and pervasive as the air we breath while to them it seems we are eternal curiosities, outsiders, exotics.
Bridging the gap?
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And so we sometimes find ourselves lashing out with nasty generalizations about the people we blame for all that seems wrong with American society and, more specifically, our place in it. They are ignorant, shallow, boorish, smelly, sneaky, treacherous, malicious, dumb, weird -- in short, all the labels we feel have been so unfairly slapped on us.
But even as we hurl such epithets we cannot forget the countless acts of kindness, warmth, generosity, friendship, passion and love that we have enjoyed from these very same people. As our anger and frustration subside, we recognize that our fates are inextricably intertwined, not merely in sharing a world, a nation, a society, an economy, a culture -- but often in sharing even our most intimate lives. One in five of today's Asian American marriages are to Whites. And contrary to the imbalance of the past, the ratio of new AM/WF marriages to new AF/WM marriages is steadily approaching unity.
So we naturally have a strong interest in decoding the other side of the equation. Understanding is a two-way street. Fortunately, there are Whites who have enough interest in us as individuals to share their perspectives on us and on their interactions with us. This page is for those who -- as corny as it may sound -- have chosen to serve as bridges.
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Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
I personally think what makes people feel this sense of jealousy or bitterness when you see a person from your own race but of your opposite gender dating outside of the race is that on some level, you see yourself as being rejected. Especially if the out-dater is rather attractive, you will think "Geez, s/he's hot. Why are they with that (other race) guy/gal when they could be with me?"
Psych 101
Thursday, May 02, 2002 at 10:52:07 (PDT)
Oops....I mean eyes:),
Get a newspaper to cover your face when all else fails.
AC Dropout
Thursday, May 02, 2002 at 10:50:55 (PDT)
curious,
I THINK MIXING IS GREAT (of course, Asian-Asian coupling is fine too).
I don't know about other people, but it doesn't bother me one bit when I see an AM with a WF. The only time it bothers me is when the AM hates and treats other fellow AA badly. If they walk around spewing stereotypes and bashing Asian women, then yes that would bother me. Other than that, I couldn't care less.
Oh yes, and if an AM is in a movie oppositing a WF, it's no big deal to me--UNLESS AF are being bashed in that movie to glorify the AM-WF affair. And I've seen a lot of that in recent Asian movies.
If they don't complain about me dating non-Asians, I don't complain about them. Also, I see sooooo many advantages to mixing with other races--Anglos, Jews, Blacks, Latinos, and everyone. The more mixing there is, the less able Asian-haters can single us out and pick on us. Also, mixing with other races help build unity and cultural/racial bridges. For instance, in this big A&F fiasco, many non-Asians who support us wholeheartedly are those who are married, engaged, or in some kind of close relationship with an Asian American.
I take it you are married/engaged/or in some kind of relationship with an AA; otherwise, you would likely not be here. See what mixing does--it brings people together.
mixing has its advantages
Thursday, May 02, 2002 at 01:48:57 (PDT)
As a white guy who was married to a Korean and who dated two Sansei women in my life (as well as white women) I don't see any "decoding" or bridge to cross based on race. I've got a hapa son, too, who thinks of himself as an "American" and won't check the "race" selections on forms but writes in "Human."
This is a bogus issue as far as I'm concerned. Jealousy is a human emotiobn that doesn't discriminate according to race.
More to the point: We all bleed the same.
Justin
average_guy26@yahoo.com
Wednesday, May 01, 2002 at 17:13:56 (PDT)
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