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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
The White Stuff: Whiting Wongs & Wonging Whites
hey're our neighbors, buddies, allies, enemies, clients, bosses, employees, lovers and spouses. Many of us have more daily contact with Whites than with other Asians. Consequently, we often feel we know them better than they can ever know us. Maybe that's at the heart of our frustration as Asian Americans. They are as ubiquitous and pervasive as the air we breath while to them it seems we are eternal curiosities, outsiders, exotics.
Bridging the gap?
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And so we sometimes find ourselves lashing out with nasty generalizations about the people we blame for all that seems wrong with American society and, more specifically, our place in it. They are ignorant, shallow, boorish, smelly, sneaky, treacherous, malicious, dumb, weird -- in short, all the labels we feel have been so unfairly slapped on us.
But even as we hurl such epithets we cannot forget the countless acts of kindness, warmth, generosity, friendship, passion and love that we have enjoyed from these very same people. As our anger and frustration subside, we recognize that our fates are inextricably intertwined, not merely in sharing a world, a nation, a society, an economy, a culture -- but often in sharing even our most intimate lives. One in five of today's Asian American marriages are to Whites. And contrary to the imbalance of the past, the ratio of new AM/WF marriages to new AF/WM marriages is steadily approaching unity.
So we naturally have a strong interest in decoding the other side of the equation. Understanding is a two-way street. Fortunately, there are Whites who have enough interest in us as individuals to share their perspectives on us and on their interactions with us. This page is for those who -- as corny as it may sound -- have chosen to serve as bridges.
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Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
There's this Asian guy I know who constantly talks about how he only dates white girls and he's even mean to other Asians. I see him walking around school with this homely-looking strawberry-blonde. And he's just so proud, something that's written all over his face and posture.
I guess in his mind he thinks he is better than other Asians because of his so-called "prize." Maybe in his mind, he's even white. But what i see when i look at him is a small, stocky moon-faced Asian guy with no self-esteem. And I hope AMs dating WFs aren't dating them for this reason.
Trailer but not white nor trash
Wednesday, April 24, 2002 at 01:01:21 (PDT)
to Experienced Fella:
"...I've seen some AFs getting tongue-action and so forth in public with guys--Asian or otherwise. But it's much less common than you'd see WFs doing with a guy in public."
Interesting. Educate me, will ya! And all this time, I thought it was because we AFs are not really into peepshow type stuff where we get to turn other folks on who are publicly ogling us. Somehow, I had always thought that folks would know I was crazy about a guy simply because I was hanging out with him (believe me, if I wasn't crazy about him, I wouldn't give him the time of day!) and I wouldn't have to prove it to the world by sticking my tongue down his throat on a park bench at noon in the middle of April with a bunch of little kids in diapers and old wrinkled folks hanging around, anxious to see some action.
MLK
Tuesday, April 23, 2002 at 20:57:38 (PDT)
In my experience of dating women, I have noticed mainly one major difference between AFs and WFs in dating relationships:
WFs are more relaxed about public displays of affection than AFs are.
I'm not saying AFs aren't affectionate, but when it comes to publicly expressing their sexuality (i.e. kissing a guy on the lips outside of a home or a car, hugging in public, holding hands, etc.) Asian women generally are more reserved than their White counterparts--especially if their partner is a non-Asian man.
I think there are a number of reasons for this:
-Most Asian families are more conservative about this type of behavior and raise their daughters to be conservative.
-Too many images of AFs acting hypersexualized with non-AMs on TV and in the movies make them supress their sexuality in public settings
-Fear of angering an Asian Male who might witness her kissing or being publicly affectionate with a non-Asian guy.
Now, what I posted was meant as "many but not all." Yeah, I've seen some AFs getting tongue-action and so forth in public with guys--Asian or otherwise. But it's much less common than you'd see WFs doing with a guy in public.
Experienced Fella
Monday, April 22, 2002 at 11:34:41 (PDT)
Asian American female,
Did a few more web searches after my other post. Discovered that the book is mostly about the middle east.
I don't think this trend will occur in the Far East. Very few people in the far east are bilingual in English. Just like most people in the USA are not bilingual in Chinese.
This type of language barrier prevent the population of each respective country (China, USA) in reading the proganda the other produces.
So yes Asian in America are subject to Orientalism due to the fact we are literally being brainwashed by the overall USA culture. Just like Chinese in China are brainwashed by their overall culture.
AC Dropout
Monday, April 22, 2002 at 07:59:05 (PDT)
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