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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
The White Stuff: Whiting Wongs & Wonging Whites
hey're our neighbors, buddies, allies, enemies, clients, bosses, employees, lovers and spouses. Many of us have more daily contact with Whites than with other Asians. Consequently, we often feel we know them better than they can ever know us. Maybe that's at the heart of our frustration as Asian Americans. They are as ubiquitous and pervasive as the air we breath while to them it seems we are eternal curiosities, outsiders, exotics.
Bridging the gap?
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And so we sometimes find ourselves lashing out with nasty generalizations about the people we blame for all that seems wrong with American society and, more specifically, our place in it. They are ignorant, shallow, boorish, smelly, sneaky, treacherous, malicious, dumb, weird -- in short, all the labels we feel have been so unfairly slapped on us.
But even as we hurl such epithets we cannot forget the countless acts of kindness, warmth, generosity, friendship, passion and love that we have enjoyed from these very same people. As our anger and frustration subside, we recognize that our fates are inextricably intertwined, not merely in sharing a world, a nation, a society, an economy, a culture -- but often in sharing even our most intimate lives. One in five of today's Asian American marriages are to Whites. And contrary to the imbalance of the past, the ratio of new AM/WF marriages to new AF/WM marriages is steadily approaching unity.
So we naturally have a strong interest in decoding the other side of the equation. Understanding is a two-way street. Fortunately, there are Whites who have enough interest in us as individuals to share their perspectives on us and on their interactions with us. This page is for those who -- as corny as it may sound -- have chosen to serve as bridges.
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Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
MLK,
Well White males have been beaten down by Political Correctness and feminism, now what you have is either a psychotic extremist or a liberal tree hugger.
And of course there is the third case the one that holds the majority of us I think, the ones that ignore most political stuff and just enjoy life.
I have gone out on many dates between WF and AF and the one distinction i found was that AF tend to be more shy and withdrawn and it takes a while to see if they really like you or not. While WF tend to be more outgoing and exclamitory in their body language telling you out loud what they think. (from my personal perceptions of course, individuals will be individuals)
I think gender, religion, race, lifestyles, do play an important role in who we are and how we percieve the world, So i don't ever buy the line that your race isn't important, or we are all the same, bla bla bla Because it simply isn't true, there are good and bad things about everyone. Evolution has designed inds differntly from one another based on economic status, envioronment etc.. depending on ethnic group to ethnic group in each region. Chinese have different view points from Japanese, Russians see things differently from the British. As the same with men and women, when women feel they are threatened by men, they form the same racist thinking that some whites feel towards blacks. This is simply do to feeling threatened. A woman feels vulnerable so she impliments strength subconsciously so they feel like "I am woman hear me roar" the same for some whites they are in the KKK and other organizations, and the blacks that feelthreatened join the NAACP. Ultimately it is all the same rooting from some deep mono or subconscious hate or fear. and untill we recognize this and do what is necessary to fix and correct, then the world will remain the way it is with towers falling in the name of hate. But if we treat these differently, supporting some while pushing others down instead of recognizing all for what they truley are. Then hate will rise like steam and the world will give in to terror and bloodshed.
I think i sidetracked a tad lol, when i start talking i can get carried away, sorry about that.
But i suppose that is a testament to how outgoing us White guys can be, just shedding our thoughts complexity yet simply usually on anyone that gives ear.
Yeah but i think AF and WF are a lot a like in many ways probably because of simular economic status of most in a world which their isnt very many if any fully held stereotypes at either AF or WF which puts them in a simular mind state as the way they are treated by society.
WM and AM however there are a few stereotypes harshly directed at Asian Males, and i think we all know what they are. But hopefully we can forget these and try to grow together as friends and allies.
But all of this is just my opinion based on what i see on TV and what i see in society. And what i have learned by studying sociology and psychology, but in the end who really knows a human, it is far too complex of a being to ever truely understand, but the study of the single individual, yourself, can lead to an understanding of all creation. :-) Take it easy
Euro White Guy- 22
Sunday, April 21, 2002 at 21:19:39 (PDT)
still waiting for my Asian knight.....
What's sad is thinking that race has to be an issue at all. And why do you think an Asian guy would understand your points of view better? Because he's Asian? I'm not sure I buy into that. It's my opinion that people will try and understand your points of view if they want to understand them; otherwise, it doesn't matter if you share the same race or not.
Sure, sharing the same culture might make it easier, but relationships in general are hard, so you're still going to have struggles. To often people try to blame those struggles on race issues, when in reality it's just another relationship issue.
What's important is you find someone who is willing to listen to you and be not so quick to judge. Someone who cares enough to value what you are offering and not take it for granted, and/or abuse it. Someone you can build a trust with and have them respect you enough to be straight with you and talk it out. And that's true regardless of whether it's a friendship or a romantic relationship.
If you are lucky enough to find such a gem, then who cares what race they are. Such a person is to be valued, in my opinion.
And to reiterate my previous stance, I don't feel one can only find that in their own race. An open mind is an open mind, regardless of skin color. We only limit ourselves to what life has to offer if we refuse to step outside of the box. And who said marrying white is better?
Outside Looking In
Sunday, April 21, 2002 at 20:42:53 (PDT)
AC dropout,
I did a research paper on Edward Said's "Orientalism" in college. Very interesting book about the formation of Western and Eastern identities - essentially, whoever has the power determines the kind of knowledge that is produced. In short, "orientalism" refers to the way the more powerful, dominant westerners create the identity of easterners or people from the "Orient", e.g. through the few travelogues of western writers, the West's colonization of Eastern societies. There is legitimacy to Said's theory, he being of Egyptian descent, and Egypt at one point was orientalized (and perhaps still is) by more dominant Western societies. This is an older book but you should be able to find it at a public or college libary. P.S. The opposite of Orientalim is "Occidentalism" - the formation of western identity from the eastern perspective.
Asian American female
Sunday, April 21, 2002 at 10:45:22 (PDT)
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