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GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
The White Stuff: Whiting Wongs & Wonging Whites
hey're our neighbors, buddies, allies, enemies, clients, bosses, employees, lovers and spouses. Many of us have more daily contact with Whites than with other Asians. Consequently, we often feel we know them better than they can ever know us. Maybe that's at the heart of our frustration as Asian Americans. They are as ubiquitous and pervasive as the air we breath while to them it seems we are eternal curiosities, outsiders, exotics.
Bridging the gap?
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And so we sometimes find ourselves lashing out with nasty generalizations about the people we blame for all that seems wrong with American society and, more specifically, our place in it. They are ignorant, shallow, boorish, smelly, sneaky, treacherous, malicious, dumb, weird -- in short, all the labels we feel have been so unfairly slapped on us.
But even as we hurl such epithets we cannot forget the countless acts of kindness, warmth, generosity, friendship, passion and love that we have enjoyed from these very same people. As our anger and frustration subside, we recognize that our fates are inextricably intertwined, not merely in sharing a world, a nation, a society, an economy, a culture -- but often in sharing even our most intimate lives. One in five of today's Asian American marriages are to Whites. And contrary to the imbalance of the past, the ratio of new AM/WF marriages to new AF/WM marriages is steadily approaching unity.
So we naturally have a strong interest in decoding the other side of the equation. Understanding is a two-way street. Fortunately, there are Whites who have enough interest in us as individuals to share their perspectives on us and on their interactions with us. This page is for those who -- as corny as it may sound -- have chosen to serve as bridges.
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Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
Asian Dominatrix:
All of your comments belie that you are extremely jealous and resentful of white women's beauty, and endlessly seek to rationalize those feelings of inferiority by making bizarre, non-sequitur comments which really serve only to make yourself feel better.
I think you're on some kind of vendetta against whites, hence your daily tirades.
Sure, there are Asian models from China who are tall and have flawless skin. There are also beautiful, tall Persian women from Iran, and Greek and Latin women with flawless skin and wonderful dark hair. There are stunning, tall Ethiopian models who have beautiful chocolate complexions and perfect features and bodies, as well. And there are thousands, if not millions, of gorgeous Caucasian women from Western and Eastern Europe, North America and Australasia, with angelic fair complexions, blonde or red hair, and beautiful blue or green eyes. Many of them are six-footers, or nearly so.
The problem with you, Asian Dominatrix, is that you live in a self-created world of anger towards whites, in particular white women, and all of your comments show that you're obsessed with this subject.
How can you say that Western models are "a bunch of short, cheap, sex-hungry trash", in the eyes of "Asian women"? This is bullsh*t. First, you were discussing tall, Asian models. Then you juxtaposed your own (inaccurate) negative stereotype of white models with your own (again inaccurate) view of how Asian women see them. And, like a magician, you shifted the subject of the sentence from talking about the perspective of Asian *models*, to *all* Asian women. In other words, somehow (in your twisted version of reality) all Asian women became tall and beautiful, and were now looking down on all *white* models, who were suddenly "short" and "sex-hungry trash".
It's probably no coincidence that you are reacting to a vicious and destructive anti-Asian stereotype that views Asian women as stereotypically short and inclined to sell sex or cater to the fantasies of Western soldiers or business travelers. Yes, it's a disgusting stereotype, but nonetheless its one YOU'VE internalized, then created an angry, hate-filled psychological "reaction formation" to, which results in your making these constant, absurd statements which amount to nothing less than your own brand of twisted and illogical racism.
The sad truth, though, is that it's a self-obsession which you indulge in daily here purely to feel better about yourself, and to assuage your own internal demons and sense, morbid sense of entitlement, and lack of self-esteem.
Have fun attacking me and (incorrectly) slandering me as a racist because I pointed out the truth.
And by the way, I am a Eurasian (my father is Chinese, my mother is German.)
Phreaknik!
Friday, March 29, 2002 at 06:16:11 (PST)
For white women:
I think models are the most attractive, followed by real girls. Supermodels are the scariest creatures on the planet.
For Asian and Indian (foreign only):
Actresses and singers are the best, followed by normal girls.
The Hollywood made crap is just that.
huu76
Friday, March 29, 2002 at 03:17:15 (PST)
Does anyone know why no Asian has ever been on any Survivor show? Do Asians feel that they could do this or are they just not interested? There have always been two blacks on the show. Maybe this is just a cultural difference. What do you think?
WF
Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 22:05:14 (PST)
This is a good forum to exchange thoughts. I am an Asian (Korean) male and I've experienced many attitudes in Whites and Asians.
I'm noticing a few more AM/WF couples than the past. It appears that some Asian males are covering ground to expand their social circles. Some of the social circles include white females.
I can speak from my personal experience that most white females were not receptive to me. As much as I tried to socialize, most white females chose to adhere to their own social circles. However, there are a few white females who had a sincere interest in socializing with me. There's a lot of factors that may explain this polarity.
Some of those factors include the media, workplace diversity and socio-economics. However, I have one thing that I am proud to hold. That one thing is confidence. My confidence has been the number one key to making new friends including white females.
Mark, runbeagle@aol.com
http://members.aol.com/runbeagle/Mark.jpg
Mark from Virginia
runbeagle@aol.com
Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 18:20:33 (PST)
"I thought this page was for those whites that have chosen to serve as bridges between the two races, as stated above in the original Goldsea article, not for deciding who is the most beautiful or jealous of who?"
I do not know whether you read Matt Richardson's post in the AA Gender Divide...He keeps accentuating the differences between Asians and whites...but, he says, "Asian women are physically different from white women." Some of the stuff he says hurt so much, especially for someone like me a product of two cultures. It is indeed very tough to build bridges when such attitudes exist.
Hapa
Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 15:25:56 (PST)
"Do you think there are any Asians who have mental problems??"
Yes. Many of them wander the streets of India, and in Singapore they are put in a mental asylum. But, killing one's children...pretty much unheard of in Asia, even by a mentally incompetent person.
"Are there any Asian women who join cults?? I do not know about you, but I have heard of several Asian cults that includes women as members."
Several...but the majority are white women, including those who followed Bhagwan Rajneesh in Antelope, Oregon and who in the end tried to poison meat in some restaurants. Very few Indians would be foolish enough to follow Rajneesh.
"Only 7 % of Americans have passports?? Where did you get that statistic? I would like to see it. Sorry, but I do not believe it."
I think Dominatrix made that comment. Dominatrix has problems with white women, and so do I. But, I think descendants of more recent immigrants such as southern and eastern Europeans tend to be more symathetic to Asian problems than white females descended from prominent English and western European families, ie., the DAR kind.
Indian
Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 15:21:56 (PST)
To White Expatriate in Asia:
What are you talking about?
You are contradicting yourself!
Throughout history white has always been conquering other countries. The white propaganda is strong throughout the world...that's the main reason. It's ok though, because being a minority make me a well-rounded person. I have nothing against white, since I do have a few cool close friends who are white.
Proud AA woman
Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 14:53:35 (PST)
MLK,
Point well taken. I'm also only 5'5" myself and do get tired of the whole promotion of height in this age of supermodels but at the same time, I'm probably even more tired of people going on and on about short Asians, male or female. I was only trying to point out that there are tall Asians--and many more these days, too, in an age of better nutrition. Too bad the media and modelling world don't reflect this.
Economist,
Damn, you are incredibly smart too--! As for Ralph Lauren, his stuff is dirt cheap when you get it on sale. (Can't complain TOO much when a wool sweater gets reduced from $180 to $40...or a wool dress from $200 to $65.) Unfortunately, the concerns of one's pocketbook tend to overweigh questions of conscience when you're a poor postdoc.
BTW, are you Asian-American Male? Cos' your style is very similar and you guys always make some highly perceptive, kick-ass points too.
Hayley,
I didn't say or imply that Asians are all better looking than whites: I was only trying to question *Me's* claims There are many very attractive white women such as Kate Moss, Kate Beckinsale, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Uma Thurman.
But yes, I do get tired all of the white women (or the self-hating Asians) who come to Goldsea and try to assert their superiority, as well as those I've seen at work who only try to help other whites while banging on about the lack of equal opportunities for white women AND complaining about affirmative action for blacks IN THE SAME BREATH. I also get tired of the white women who like to perpetuate all the negative stereotypes of Asian women, whether physical (short, skinny, and ugly, etc.) or psychological (pushover or dragon lady). *Me* seemed to exemplify this attitude in her post.
Mind you, too, I didn't say that all Asian women are smart, well-educated, well-dressed etc. And that they have more of these qualities than white women or any other race of women. I was just pointing out that it's not just white women who have these traits. Hope this is clear.
P.S. The 7% with passports is from the London Times. They have been saying this for the last 7 years I've spent in England.
Me,
You just said:
"Hey I was just responding to the comment of "I can't see any reason to be jealous of WF's" and wanted to defend us WF's that have good qualities. Not all of us are size 14, fat, stupid rednecks."
Well, no one has said here that all white women are "size 14 fat, stupid rednecks." I have mentioned beautiful white women in some of my other posts (granted, quite some time ago.)
I think the problem is that you made it seem as tho' the positive traits you listed for whites were exclusive to them. If someone is bigoted enough to say "Who's jealous of WF's because they are fat, stupid, blah, blah, blah," you merely have to say that there are many white women who are slim, beautiful, and smart like Carly Fiorina, or whomever you choose. But of course, some will misread you like they misread me...
Finally, there might be some misunderstanding in the last two sentences from my earlier post, I wrote:
"It's just too bad that Western media doesn't like to give positive attention to Asian women. As far as Asian women are concerned, they are a bunch of short, cheap sex-hungry trash."
I wrote this in haste to get back to my own stuff, so may not have expressed myself as properly as I would have liked. I meant "As far as Asian women are concerned [for the media] they are a bunch of short, cheap, sex-hungry trash." Hope this makes a little sense.
Asian Dominatrix
Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 09:39:10 (PST)
Well maybe the discussion should be steered away from the "White is better" vs. "Asian is better" thing. The pertinent questions are: What do whites think of asians? (That is the title of this post) and How can we bridge the gap? Let's throw some positive light onto here peeps! I am a WF who is dating a fabulous AM. I have met a decent amount of Asians, I wouldn't say a ton, and some are pretty, some are ugly, some are thin, some very fat, some smart, some dumb, some mean, some very nice and friendly. Some are nerdy, some are hunky and hot. Some make lots of money at IT jobs, some have low level jobs. So what do whites think of asians? Let's hear some real viewpoints. How can we bridge the gap? I don't know, I guess the obvious answer is "Get to know more people of other races and learn about each other's cultures" but is that too simplified?
let's get back to the point
Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 08:04:54 (PST)
I'm a white female and I think that Asians are underrepresented in the modeling field. There are a lot of very pretty Asian girls/hot guys, so it's not for lack of looks. Some white people are close-minded and don't pay attention to Asians. In fact, just yesterday, I told a friend that I think Asian men are really attractive, and she acted shocked and couldn't believe it! So I showed her my desktop pics of Tsuyoshi Shinjo and Mark Dascascos that I look at when I'm bored at work.
Sue
Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 07:37:39 (PST)
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