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GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
The White Stuff: Whiting Wongs & Wonging Whites
hey're our neighbors, buddies, allies, enemies, clients, bosses, employees, lovers and spouses. Many of us have more daily contact with Whites than with other Asians. Consequently, we often feel we know them better than they can ever know us. Maybe that's at the heart of our frustration as Asian Americans. They are as ubiquitous and pervasive as the air we breath while to them it seems we are eternal curiosities, outsiders, exotics.
Bridging the gap?
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And so we sometimes find ourselves lashing out with nasty generalizations about the people we blame for all that seems wrong with American society and, more specifically, our place in it. They are ignorant, shallow, boorish, smelly, sneaky, treacherous, malicious, dumb, weird -- in short, all the labels we feel have been so unfairly slapped on us.
But even as we hurl such epithets we cannot forget the countless acts of kindness, warmth, generosity, friendship, passion and love that we have enjoyed from these very same people. As our anger and frustration subside, we recognize that our fates are inextricably intertwined, not merely in sharing a world, a nation, a society, an economy, a culture -- but often in sharing even our most intimate lives. One in five of today's Asian American marriages are to Whites. And contrary to the imbalance of the past, the ratio of new AM/WF marriages to new AF/WM marriages is steadily approaching unity.
So we naturally have a strong interest in decoding the other side of the equation. Understanding is a two-way street. Fortunately, there are Whites who have enough interest in us as individuals to share their perspectives on us and on their interactions with us. This page is for those who -- as corny as it may sound -- have chosen to serve as bridges.
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
Has anyone read the book, The Unwanted: A Memoir? I read this about a year ago; it is a fantastic autobiography of an Amerasian child growing up during the Vietnam War. I dated a Vietnamese guy for several years plus traveled in Vietnam. I was touched and saddened by this man’s story. If anyone has read the book I am interested in your views.
WF
Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 22:51:38 (PST)
"As far as Asian women are concerned, they (white models) are a bunch of short, cheap sex-hungry trash."
I SERIOUSLY doubt that this is true. The average supermodel is 5'10. I would hardly call this short. I think that is quite an ideal height. 6' is TOO tall. I, and many other men of all races, find supermodels to be the ideals of beauty, not "cheap sex-hungry trash."
AAM
Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 12:55:00 (PST)
This is to Indian,
Do you think there are any Asians who have mental problems??
I think you should rethink the Andrea Yates comment.
Are there any Asian women who join cults?? I do not know about you, but I have heard of several Asian cults that includes women as members.
Only 7 % of Americans have passports?? Where did you get that statistic? I would like to see it. Sorry, but I do not believe it.
Hayley
Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 10:48:36 (PST)
Well Asian Dominatrix, I put you in the same catagory as "me".
I remember you from before, and how you love to put down white women. You seem to have the same problem as the WF who seems to think being white is better. With you of course it is Asian is better.
I have no respect for anyone who judges "beauty" by skin color alone, this also goes for "handsome".
It is the main symbol of a true bigot.
Hayley
Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 10:43:07 (PST)
Asian Dominatrix
Your views are delightedly to-the-point without a waste for space and I agree with you most wholeheartedly. I just have one small niggling thought, and even though I know that you are addressing this in defense of such oversweeping generalizations, I still feel "not quite right" about it.
What's wrong with short women? (and this is coming from a 5'5" woman so don't think I'm defending myself). There are many men who consciously seek out the smaller-porportioned woman because they love the look of the petite female form. There's something to be said for size 5 shoes (and though I love the cuteness of it all, I'd fall over with such small feet at my height), and the tiny delicate bones and frame, and the fact that a woman under 5'2" can act like a doll and get away with it. I have a sister who's 4'11" and it took me the longest time to get over the fact that she could wear smaller clothes and shoes than I could and be more dainty, more petite, take up less room, etc.
Anyway, the point is moot because I think this "me" person isn't even a female let alone a white one.
MLK
Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 10:27:41 (PST)
I have an Asian friend who isn't very eager to tell me about his culture. BTW, he doesn't have many close friends who are not Asian. When I go over to his home, and I see Asian cds or food or whatever, I ask "what is that about?" and he says, "oh, I don't know what that is." I don't know if it's because they are everyday things to him, and there's no reason to discuss them, but I'm a curious person. Maybe because I'm not his race, and he thinks I'll make fun? Is it a secret, or something? Do Asian people or people from other countries get tired of being asked about their culture? I've told him that his language sounds sexy to me, because I've heard him on the phone, and he says, "yeah, right." Sorry to ask such dumb questions, but I don't get it (him).
curious white person
Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 09:39:01 (PST)
I think we should ignore "Me", she is trying to incite bad feelings between White and Asian women here. I tried to be nice thinking maybe she had a bad experience and it tainted her uneducated views, but I now see her generalization is actually so that the Asian women on here will start talking negative about white women , as their own generalization, in an attempt to defend their race, thus in turn making more "me" posts. I do not blame them, as it does make one feel bad to be generalized in a bad way, but it just leads to more of this "white women are ugly and then a post where Asian women are ugly", and back and forth etc. etc. etc. Lets not play into it and ignore her. I agree with Happy Clam.
I thought this page was for those whites that have chosen to serve as bridges between the two races, as stated above in the original Goldsea article, not for deciding who is the most beautiful or jealous of who?
Hannybunbun
Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 09:36:43 (PST)
[You are correct about the focus of this page. A certain amount of peripheral fireworks is inevitable but we are monitoring to make sure the page doesn't drift too far off course. --Ed]
"All of the advantages that whites get in this country originate in the fact that they're the majority. The tables are turned as soon as you go to a country where the majority of the population is not white. And as for this "Whites get by much easier" business, if I ever hear that again, I will start running around the house shouting, because it is NOT TRUE!! There, ladies and gentlemen. Not true."
Most whites in this country and the world at large do not benefit from white privilege, if privilege means getting a million dollar job or going to India on an all white female Enron team to ruin the corporation or destroy the country and put locals out of work and deny them their livelihood. However, most people who get the best jobs in the USA, best expatriate jobs abroad and best contracts and deals on developing country projects happen to be white. 90% of expats living in Asia happen to be white. White Americans get hired easily in Asia, while if it is a black or Asian American, well...at best "it takes time." But, do all whites benefit from this privilege? The answer is clearly and unequivocally no. But, the majority of people who get plum position whether the country has majority or minority whites, well...happen to be whites.
White Expatriate in Asia
Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 08:51:36 (PST)
Hey I was just responding to the comment of "I can't see any reason to be jealous of WF's" and wanted to defend us WF's that have good qualities. Not all of us are size 14, fat, stupid rednecks.
me
Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 08:48:00 (PST)
Asian Dominatrix:
You are very smart indeed. I have no doubt about it. However, I do have a few queries, if you would allow me:
"Why is it always whites attending those special beauty events?"
Insecurity.
"Or is it that whites and self-hating Asians like to focus on short Asians?"
They do.
"Are cats more beautiful than human beings then?"
In some cases, yes. At least on the inside. So are dogs for that matter. More faithful at least than most human beings.
"Yours truly here is well-dressed, well-bred, and well-read with clothes from Ralph Lauren."
Why would someone as smart as you buy Ralph Lauren. I have never seen Asians represented in the commercial, "world of Ralph Lauren." Most of the females are Anglo-Saxon looking with sharp features.
"And I've travelled to Taiwan, Japan, the UK, Norway, France, Germany, Austria, and Italy: more places than your average white American will have seen. (After all, only 7% of the American population have passports!)"
Or will ever see. I have seen Papua New Guinea, Tonga, Nauru, Suriname, Equatorial Guinea, Maldives, Mauritius and Seychelles. Have most white Americans ever heard of these places? Actually 7% of all Americans have passports. 90% of Asian and Americans have passports...which means only 5% of white Americans have passports or ever had one.
"There are LOTS of other Asian women with similar backgrounds. At Oxford, I met other well-dressed Asian women who were also pursuing higher degrees in history and PPE (Politics, Philosophy and Economics)."
Plenty of Asian women in economics.
Go to Harvard, Cornell and Princeton or definitely MIT. Particularly in international development.
"The fact is, many get praised for beauty on account of their race."
In most countries white equals beautiful. I used to have that impression until the early 1980s, about three years after I came to this country. Then I attended a midwestern school not too far away from where you work and live. I never dated or ran after any women. So, the whites called me a gay and threatened to beat me up. After that, I tried to join a church group which was all white...I was basically told to chase "your" men and leave "our" men alone. That is when my opinion of whites began to change and I realized that we Asians had a white bias in our psyche.
"It's just too bad that Western media doesn't like to give positive attention to Asian women."
Eastern media copies them as well and portrays Asian women as whores. Why do you think that the west accuses the east of violating intellectual property and copyright?
"As far as Asian women are concerned, they are a bunch of short, cheap sex-hungry trash."
Nothing can be farther from the truth. Most Asian women have very high morals, are well educated and bright. We would not be having women in the sciences and engineering schools were it not for the Asian women. Asian women are 50% more likely to get a college degree than white men. Obviously all this model minority stereotypes are lost on the media. Three decades ago the media used to portray black women as mammies or whores...now it is the turn to portray Filipinas as mammies and other Asian women as whores. If you are not a white woman, you cannot win this game either here or back in Asia. Asians back in the old continent should rise up in arms against this portrayal of Asian women in the media both over there and here.
Economist
Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 08:38:42 (PST)
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