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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
The White Stuff: Whiting Wongs & Wonging Whites
hey're our neighbors, buddies, allies, enemies, clients, bosses, employees, lovers and spouses. Many of us have more daily contact with Whites than with other Asians. Consequently, we often feel we know them better than they can ever know us. Maybe that's at the heart of our frustration as Asian Americans. They are as ubiquitous and pervasive as the air we breath while to them it seems we are eternal curiosities, outsiders, exotics.
Bridging the gap?
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And so we sometimes find ourselves lashing out with nasty generalizations about the people we blame for all that seems wrong with American society and, more specifically, our place in it. They are ignorant, shallow, boorish, smelly, sneaky, treacherous, malicious, dumb, weird -- in short, all the labels we feel have been so unfairly slapped on us.
But even as we hurl such epithets we cannot forget the countless acts of kindness, warmth, generosity, friendship, passion and love that we have enjoyed from these very same people. As our anger and frustration subside, we recognize that our fates are inextricably intertwined, not merely in sharing a world, a nation, a society, an economy, a culture -- but often in sharing even our most intimate lives. One in five of today's Asian American marriages are to Whites. And contrary to the imbalance of the past, the ratio of new AM/WF marriages to new AF/WM marriages is steadily approaching unity.
So we naturally have a strong interest in decoding the other side of the equation. Understanding is a two-way street. Fortunately, there are Whites who have enough interest in us as individuals to share their perspectives on us and on their interactions with us. This page is for those who -- as corny as it may sound -- have chosen to serve as bridges.
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Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
The majority of my friends have been of white descent since I can remember. I basically grew up in white dominated neighborhood. I notice a difference in the way I was treated at a younger age than now. When I was younger I really hated who I was because of the way that I looked, and all the names I was called and the fights I got into because. I now know it was because people in general pick on the different for whatever reason. As I got older I never really payed attention to what people thought of me just by looking at my exterior. My closet friends are really cool and are interested in asian culture, and who I am as a person rather than ignorant generalizations and stereo types.
So for all you haters out there, it's your loss not to get to know somebody for they are rather than what you think they are.
AM
Monday, March 25, 2002 at 21:36:03 (PST)
So you can't think of a single reason to be jealous of WF's?
-natural beauty, tall, many different varieties of hair and eye color
-smart, well brought up, classy, well-educated, well-travelled
-99% of supermodels and top-paid actresses are white
-unfortunately we live in a white America and whites get by much easier in it, ie networking.
me
Monday, March 25, 2002 at 12:56:59 (PST)
Hey Andrew:
Here's a few more for you--you know you're an Egg when you're White AND:
-You will never pay full price no matter what--you'll even try to haggle a deal at Wal-Mart or a Saturn Dealership
-You always buy rice in the 50 lb bag
-You won't eat Egg Foo Yung, Moo Goo Gai Pain or any other Americanized Chinese Food because you only want the Authentic kind
-You think whomever invented PF Chang's should rot in Hell!!!
-You take all your extended family to Dim Sum but only leave $1.00 tip
-Anytime you open your front or back door, a bunch of shoes get jammed underneath the door
-Your non-Asian friends challenge your ability to eat with Chopsticks, so you prove it by eating a slice of pizza with chopsticks
-You bring chopsticks with you when you go to eat at Olive Garden, La Strada or any other Italian restaurant where you eat pasta
-You insist on having your rice served in a small rice bowl with the main dish on the side instead of having the main dish dumped over a big plate of rice
-You think Jasmine rice is better than any other kind
-You have any of the following items in your pantry: Srirachi sauce, Squid brand Fish Sauce, Mr. Brown's Iced Cofee, Coco Loco soda, Yeo's Soy Milk in 12 oz cans, Oyster sauce, Ying's Fruit Picante Beef Jerkey
-You have any of the following in your fridge: Plum Flower Soy Milk, 1000-year old eggs, leftover noodles from last week, bok choy, whole ginger root, chicken feet
-You know how to make your own pot stickers and refuse to eat any made by La Choy, Chun King or Safeway Select
-You habitually use Chinese/Vietnamese/other Asian expressions when you're talking to non-Asians (Ai-yuh! Mak-wa! Cho-cho! Cho-xuan-pii! Da-bien! Lo-dit! etc.)
-When you're horny you say to your significant other "Wo de ai-ren! Wo yao gan ni tso-ai!" instead of the English Equivalent
-You know every warehouse on Harwin Drive that sells good looking fake Polo, Hilfiger, Chanel and Gucci items.
Have fun ya'll!!!
Hank Lewis
Monday, March 25, 2002 at 07:31:24 (PST)
I have never been called an egg before. But then again, my Chinese is still not very good, so it could have happened and I would never know?
My husband does think it is kind of cute and funny that when we go to one of our favorite Chinese restaurants now, that the waiters have stopped bringing me a fork. We never asked them to bring it or not, I just think that over a year's period of eating there, that they have seen my chopsticks skill go from dropping rice all over the table, to now a neat empty bowl and no fork usage!
Comment to "Don't like them" I also am a WF, and there are "cliques" everywhere you go regardless of race. It just seems like you have run into a certain clique. Not all AF's behave that way, and don't dislike WF's. I do not know if you are generalizing or thinking of particular girls but perhaps those particular girls are just snobby people and it is behavioral and it is not a racial thing?
Hannybunbun
Monday, March 25, 2002 at 07:02:27 (PST)
to Don't Like Them:
"...You just don't matter if you're not wearing the right accesories. I think they're jealous of WFs. I'm curious- what is WITH the attitude??"
It takes a heck of a lot more than a Vuitton bag to get my jealousy up lady. I'd have to also see the gated mansion on the hilltop and the cream white convertible Mercedes with a gorgeous man-hunk holding the door open for you before I get green with envy.
I have many WF friends, including one very close best friend since high school and to be honest, none of us even have a Vuitton bag. Mostly, we just carry around our briefcases and laptop carriers and we stick our lipstick and wallet in along with our computer peripherals. For us, it's more the case of "you just don't matter if you're not using your brains to get on the right track and succeed in life".
MLK
Sunday, March 24, 2002 at 13:52:52 (PST)
I dunno, "don't like them"--I've met an awful lot of white girls like that. And personally, I can't think of a single good reason to be jealous of WF's.
Ahankara
Sunday, March 24, 2002 at 11:44:10 (PST)
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