|
|
|
|
|
GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
WHAT FOBs THINK OF AMERICAN-BORN ASIANS
y FOBs we mean anyone who has ever been called an FOB. -- "fresh-off-the-boat", anyone not born here. In other words, half the AA population. Even the 2 million AA who immigrated as kids and speak English like -- or in some cases, better than -- native-born Americans rarely escape the sting of being dismissed by American-Born Asians (ABAs) based on real or imagined differences.
The stereotype of the hopeless FOB who just doesn't get American culture is all too familiar. But intra-Asian prejudice is a two-way street.
No less insulting are the images held by FOBs. ABAs are the descendants of the lowliest of peasants forced to flee their homelands to become indentured servants, sniff some FOBs. Born and bred to accept second-class status in a white society, sneer others. Slackers who don't know the meaning of ambition and sacrifice -- and who lack the guts to do anything about it in any case.
FOBs run the socio-economic gamut. A significant minority (perhaps a tenth) are highly successful trans-Pacific business families seeking a safe haven for their fortunes. The vast majority are engineers, scientists, physicians and academics braving the uncertainties of new lives for a chance to work hard for more money and better opportunities. A few are refugees and illegals risking their lives to escape hopeless, grinding poverty.
It's safe to say few FOBs feel in any respect disadvantaged relative to American-born Asians. In fact, given a dozen years most do as well or better than ABAs financially, if not socially. They can be excused, then, for harboring some less-than-flattering assessments of ABAs. By the same token, in their struggle to acculturate, FOBs often come to appreciate the trails blazed by the ABS, or at least, by their ancestors.
Assuming you're FOB or straddling the FOB-ABA fence, what's your image of ABAs? Let's hear the good as well as the bad.
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
CONTACT US
|
ADVERTISING INFO
© 1996-2013 Asian Media Group Inc
No part of the contents of this site may be reproduced without prior written permission.
|
|
|
|
WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
First Class FOB:
You got played and you did not even know it. Why do you think A Careful Reader challenged you? He knew you would be pushed into listing all your credentials just like clockwork because that is typical FOB symptoms of insecurity. Since you do not have the confidence to debate me with the truth, you had to resort to biased generalizations. What else is new?
I have yet to see an FOB debate me with just the honest truth.
You can get 10000 degrees after your name, and proclaim all the accomplishments in the world, but it still does not change your smarting FOB status and being treated as second class.
Until you can respect ABAs, you will always be second-class. Look at the smarting you are going through right now. You had to come to an Asian American site to proclaim your superiority. Funny thing is, no one is impressed, Dr. FOB,MBA,JD.
Your opinion is so weak you had to resort to petty generalizations, instead of dealing with the honest truth. I said from my first post that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. It is you who need to read more carefully as nowhere in any of my post did I said anything about equality. I said Asians are in this together. Your petty attempts to create discord between ABAs and FOBs just shows how low class you can be.
You just got played a second time and you still don't even know it. I knew my response to your post would push your FOB button of insecurity, and you would respond in such a way that would reveal your true nature as nothing but a low class FOB. Your namesake is an oxymoron.
What's the matter, you cannot debate me with the honest truth? Are you blinded and cannot see the true big picture? If being an FOB is so great and superior, why are there more Asians interested in coming to America, than vice versa? Be careful! That is a loaded question. Chew on that!
If you even mature enough, you might be able to get pass your second class smarting, and finally be able to debate the real issues vexing FOBs today. What will successful FOBs do to empower those FOBs who are less successful?
As far as my friend, I have the utmost respect for her because she is actually doing something to empower other Asians, and she is not even Asian. Unlike you, she does not define her success based solely on money. She defines her success based on what impact she makes for other people, the lives she has touched, and the difference she can make for others. But I know an FOB like you would not be able to appreciate a woman like her because you only define success based on money, a typical FOB mindset.
I already mentioned in my first post that I'm in the finance and marketing field. FOBs are not a threat to me in this field simply because I have yet to meet an FOB who has the communication, people and social skills to displace me. Besides, I love the competition as it makes everyone better in the long run.
It's too bad your FOB button was pushed to the point that you did not have a first class response. It's figures. It's too easy to play a narrow-minded FOB like you.
I pity you since you needed to come to an Asian American site to proclaim your superiority, as if anyone would care enough to be impressed, Dr. FOB MBA,JD, and 10000 more degrees coming to compensate for your smarting FOB status.
Proud ABA
Tuesday, November 06, 2001 at 13:25:29 (PST)
Life is hard everywhere, even in America, although Americans have it easier than most people living in other nations. However, in many ways, how much society advances depends on how much intelligence, toughness and decency people have.
Having intelligence translates into overcoming difficult circumstances (including academic acheivements), thinking about life and society and how one relates to other people. That counts very much on WHO one is. That is much more sincere and genuine than shallow Marchiavellian 'people', 'leadership' and 'communications' skills many bird-brained and shallow ABAs think they have. I don't care how much ABAs prop themselves up by Marchiavelli and people they know, because good and decent white America doesn't think that they are any better than FOBs. For your info, I think white Americans are one of the most generous people compared to other nations. ABAs complaining about racism really makes me sick. What ABAs go through are NOTHING like what some blacks went through in the early days of the civil rights movement. I have met many whites who have been very kind to me. Once again, it's WHO one is than WHAT one presents oneself to be.
Proud Chinese
Tuesday, November 06, 2001 at 12:15:01 (PST)
I am proud of who I am. I don't know where some FOBs gets off saying that most ABAs have this second class WASP mentality. I don't forget my heritage, but the same time, I am an Asian-American, rather than an Asian who lives in America.
Anyhow, the term FOB, though offensive, really refers to people who came to America recently with a very Asian mentality (nothing wrong with that, but does not adapt to current environment) and it can refer to someone who has lived in America for 20 years, but still have this Asian only mentality.
Then, you have those who were born in Asia, but came to the US young. They are in between. There also some who think more like an ABA.
1st Class ABA
Tuesday, November 06, 2001 at 11:52:53 (PST)
Proud ABA:
I'm assuming ABA stands for "Archetypally Boring Ahole".
We're all the same, hey ABA? Hardly. You and I have nothing in common except our Asian ancestries. There's a bigger gulf separating me from guys like you than from the pinkest wasp.
Just so we're on the same page, the issue here is what FOBs think of ABAs. My opinion of you? The archetype of the ABA with the ghetto mentality and limited imigination who typically end up working at places like community service centers (a "friend", huh?) and welfare offices.
Acquire some reading comprehension skills and you will enjoy more success. Go back and carefully read what I said.
[[Most of the most brilliant AA in tech, medicine, law and business were born overseas and educated in the U.S.]]
[[I was reluctant to mention my credentials because of the envy and resentment it always arouses.]]
Looks like my fears were founded, hey?
I mentioned them only in response to A Careful Reader's skepticism about my familiarity with all four disciplines.
To stop being such a bore, address the issue instead of that infinite loop you call a brain.
If you want to rant how "we're all the same", go start an Equality for Bores forum. I'm afraid your continued presence may kill off this page.
1st Class FOB
Monday, November 05, 2001 at 07:29:37 (PST)
First Class FOB:
It’s too bad you are immature and insecure at the same time. You have classic FOB symptoms of insecurity since you needed to emphasize your degrees, and accomplishments. Should I be impressed now and call you Dr. FOB, JD? If your opinion was strong and valid, it will stand on the honest truth along. The fact you chose to emphasize WHAT you are instead of WHO you are just proves how insecure you are. I don’t need to emphasize anything since I have enough confidence to let the truth speak for itself.
In your original post, you stated that ABAs uses to rag on you because you had an accent. I see you are still smarting over those negative childhood experiences and not mature enough to let in go even as an adult now. How sad! I pity you. How long are you going to harbor ill feelings towards ABAs just because of some negative childhood experiences? Your posts reek with negativity towards ABAs like you have an incessant need for payback. Grow up and be mature enough to see past those mistakes from the ABA children so you can finally stop smarting over those experiences as it shows in your current negative attitude towards ABAs. There are three sides to every story. There’s your side. There’s the opposite of your side, and there’s the truth.
Your Side: Selectively parse out a segment of the FOB population. Select only professions where FOBs have a higher concentration of success. Ignore industries where FOBs are noticeably less successful, and then generalize that FOBs must be more successful than ABAs.
The Opposite of Your Side: Selectively parse out a segment of the ABA population. Select only professions where ABAs have a higher concentration of success. Ignore industries where ABAs are less successful, and then generalize that ABAs must be more successful than FOBs.
The Truth will set you free from your smarting. Your examples of FOB success from selected professions do not represent the universe of available professions, and do not represent that all FOBs are succeeding. I have a friend who is working as a project director for an Asian Community Center. The majority of the people who use this center are FOBs. Some FOBs are struggling to learn English in ESL classes. Some are on welfare programs and other social programs. Some are doing lower paying jobs like manual labor, seamstress, etc. just to survive. These opposite examples of FOB struggles also do not represent that all FOBs are struggling.
Before you jump to a conclusion, I used the opposite example of FOB struggles not to demean my fellow Asians, but to show you the big picture, and how unfair it is to draw conclusions based on selected truths. Don’t you see that it’s your insecurity talking when you offer only selected truths, but don’t have enough confidence to tell the whole truth? For every FOB success story, there are FOBs struggling. Taking selected FOB successes from selected industries, and then generalizing about FOB’s success relative to ABAs, just show your desperation.
Your other weak argument is this idea of a ratio between the populations of ABAs to FOBs, and how you think there should be a parallel correlation with a selected profession. What a reach! Are you for real or so desperate to prove your delusion that you would use selective statistics that might favor FOBs? You do realize that for any profession you can cite which might favor FOBs, I can cite professions that favor ABAs. So what does that prove? Nothing, except that we can both be selective when we want to be! To put it bluntly, selectively choosing a profession, without fully randomized sampling, results in biased and worthless statistics.
So far, you have not proven anything, except that you have a self-delusional opinion, a great need for some self-aggrandizement to make you feel better about your FOB status, and a need for some self-consolation as you are still smarting from being treated as 2nd Class by ABAs when you were a child. If you can ever mature and see past those negative childhood experiences, perhaps one day you can even see the honest truth, appreciate that all Asians are in this together, and honestly give respect to ABAs first, to get mutual respect in return. But if the only thing you can do is come to an Asian American site with your self-proclaimed superiority, don’t be surprised that you will continue smarting for the rest of your life.
Proud ABA
Sunday, November 04, 2001 at 23:28:07 (PST)
Proud Chinese:
I’m happy for Asians like Dr. Wang. It does not matter to me if the person is an ABA or an FOB, we all should be proud when Asians are successful. I hope you are not naïve enough to use one example in Dr. Wang and his son, and somehow generalize that this one example means FOBs are better than ABAs. Are you really that desperate to prove you point that you would resort to such a stretch?
Did it occur to you that there are Asian parents who push their children into the family business, or into a certain profession, even if the child may not be most suited for that profession? It is possible that Dr. Wang’s son did not want to be the next Dr. Wang Jr. and follow in his father’s footsteps. Perhaps his son wanted his own identity. Moreover, it is possible that Dr. Wang’s son was destined to be the next Russell Wong, the next IM Pei, the next Yo-Yo Ma, or the next famous politician. Does that make Dr. Wang’s son any less compared to the father? Of course not! It just shows that father and son had different strengths, weaknesses, qualities, and are passionate about different things. There is nothing new here since I am sure many Asians could identify with what I just said.
The only thing your example proves is my original point, that everyone, regardless of whether you are an ABA or an FOB, has different strengths, weaknesses, qualities, and are passionate about different things. I can give you many examples of ABA children who are more successful than their FOB parents. So what does that prove? Nothing! Isolated examples can be found anywhere. Generalizing about which group of Asians is better based on selected examples or industries just prove how desperate you are. You will get the respect of ABAs when you start by respecting ABAs. But when someone like First Class FOB comes into an Asian American site to disrespect ABAs, don’t look for respect in return.
Proud ABA
Sunday, November 04, 2001 at 23:20:02 (PST)
Proud Asian:
I agree with you. I respect Asians who respect me regardless of whether they are an ABA or an FOB. When Asians are successful and doing great things for other Asians, I'm happy and proud. I don't stop to asking is this Asian an FOB or an ABA. We are all in this together.
However, when someone like 1st Class FOB comes into an Asian American site and bash ABAs like me, he has given me reasons not to respect him anymore. You better believe that I will humble 1st Class FOB's self-proclaimed superiority as I do not play second class to anyone.
Proud ABA
Sunday, November 04, 2001 at 23:15:02 (PST)
NEWEST COMMENTS |
EARLIER COMMENTS
|