Asian Male/Black Female Relationships | Asian American Poll

ASIAN MALE/ BLACK FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:39:10 AM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most attracts you to African American females?
Their facial features | 36%
Their physique | 36%
Their attitude and personality | 27%
Their education & cultural values | 1%

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with African American females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 2%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 7%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 67%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 24%

Assuming you are an African American female, which of the following most attracts you to Asian males?
Their facial features | 77%
Their physique | 4%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 4%

Assuming you are an African American female, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with Asian males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 0%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 9%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 78%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family and friends. | 13%

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Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

Damn, Serena Williams is the finest woman on the planet. I love watching her play tennis. Muscles flexed, body wet and sleek, butt jiggling, and those grunts make me so hard.
X Friday, July 05, 2002 at 01:37:51 (PDT)

Black women who like Asian men, donāt hold back. GO FOR IT!!! I hope by sharing my experience, you'll be encouraged to take your chances with Asian men. Donāt listen to people saying that Black women are less attractive and canāt compete when it comes to Asian men. Why do I say this? Iām a Black woman whose main squeeze is a Vietnamese man. Weāve known each other for close to 12 yrs. After all these years, we still have a great time together, remain very close, and support each other through life challenges.

As far as the physical issues; Iām 5ā2, very voluptuous, and know first-hand that all Asian men donāt prefer skinny women. Many Asian men have approached me. Iām flattered and dated some of them. However, none have been able to top my main squeeze. He is so special·..fun-loving and very generous. He is 5ā7, has a serious body on him and is very strong. He certainly shatters the myth that Asian men are skinny/scrawny and reserved. We still get a laugh when we notice people staring at us, out of disbelief (we think) that weāre obviously very comfortable with each other.

How Did We Get Together?

In short, I used subtle, yet very powerful methods to see if he was interested in me. It worked like a charm before he knew what hit him. Since I didnāt use a direct approach, the issue of him having a Vietnamese girlfriend got lost in the shuffle. Nonetheless, she could no longer hold his attention with me around. Although I stayed cool and calm, I turned up the heat on him in so many other ways. She simply couldnāt compete because her course of action was constant jealous rampages. No man wants a woman on a constant rampage. This woman even followed us to a public park, and went crazy when he wouldnāt leave with her. She ended up calling her sister and a friend in for ćreinforcements.ä He tried to assume the ćIām in the middle positionä with both of us. However, I knew he was leaning heavily toward me.

How Did We Come This Far?

The Vietnamese girlfriend kept issuing angry ultimatums. I was equally determined, but I used the calm/collected approach. By no means though, am I a quiet person. Among a few other things, I told him that it was his decision whether heād ever learn what I had planned for him. Need I say more? He still speaks of that moment and doesnāt hesitate to remind me that I lived up that statement. So, I say again Black women·GO FOR IT. Youāll never know unless you try!

amenyes Thursday, July 04, 2002 at 21:34:15 (PDT)

I am a young African American female, I happened to stumble upon this poll,
I am very interested in the insight and openness that so many of you shared, it gives me something to think about.

Mynix mynix@adelphia.net Thursday, July 04, 2002 at 16:37:40 (PDT)

Does anyone know much about Chicago Ill.? My husband has just gotten a really good job offer there, and one in Virginia. We both talked and decided on the one in Chicago because of the job stability and the health insurance. Does anyone know if there are many interracial couples there? And if so...what about BW&AM relationships? and for biracial kids?
R.S. prettypisces27@yahoo.com Thursday, July 04, 2002 at 14:43:45 (PDT)

Mileena, the people in Japan are very friendly. I stayed there for 4 wks in a college program. I didn't experience any of those things. Ife is right, it all must be all in your head.
black dominican girl Thursday, July 04, 2002 at 12:10:39 (PDT)

Are we still arguing over the whole Strong Black Woman thing? Geez. If you are a strong black woman why do you care what some guy thinks about you? He doesn't have to get up in the morning and face what the world throws at you (how dare you be female and have an opinion? How dare you want love AND sex -- or just sex? How dare you demand health care for your children or equal pay for equal work, or bandaids that actually match your skintone? How dare you!) Let the men who want the mousey girls go chase their mice. Meanwhile, concentrate on finding the right man for you.

Personally, my favorite Strong Black Women are Angela Bassett, Oprah, and Phylicia Rashad (mostly because she looks and sounds like my mom).

Anyway, you want some more stereotypes to gripe about? Go to the Are You Fobulous Quiz at http://www.giantrobot.com/forums/showthread.php3?threadid=9058
Read up on the Asian equivalent of Buppies, BAPs and Bohos (what's a BAP? What's a Boho? Go to http://www.thebaphandbook.com/RUaBAP.html and find out).
For the record, I am a card-carrying Boho and my boyfriend is finishing up the transition from FOB to Fobulous. My best friend is a Twinkie who pretends to understand Mandarin to get preferential treatment at din sum, and my ex-coworker is a GangstaFob who introduced himself to me as "Straight Up Nigganese."

Have fun!

Peace and love for all,
SistaMoonKitty Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 21:31:00 (PDT)

Mileena,

I can't imagine anything worse than being lonely, heartbroken, misunderstood and pregnant so far from home. Wow.

Normally I'd ask all sorts of questions about your ex -- what made him suddenly change, do you think that he might feel the same way you do and just not have the right tools to express his emotions, do you think you two can work together to get past this... but you sound pretty done with the situation.

I hope you have a safe trip home and spend some time with people who can give you the kind of support you need. In time, maybe you'll be able to come to terms with the man in Japan -- he may be a beast now, but once upon a time you loved him enough to put up with the culture shock of a new country. Was that love based on something real? Maybe even friendship? Figure out what happened so you can learn from this experience and make even better choices in the future.

As for the baby, I've always wondered if it's the baby who chooses its parents and not the other way around. Maybe you were only supposed to stay with this guy long enough to carry this particular kid. Who knows what the universe has in store for you.

In any case, take care of yourself, and remember who you really are, no matter what some cold-hearted stranger may say or think about you.

Peace and love for all,

SistaMoonKitty Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 20:31:17 (PDT)

Mileena,

Good luck to you in the US. I'm really sorry things didn't work out for you here in Japan.

Of course, I have never met Mileena, but I can say that everyone's experience in Japan is different. Actually, anyone's experience anywhere is different. I don't think she sounds 'ghetto'. Angry? Frustrated? Sad? Definately. Maybe Mileena was a little more sensitive to the looks than Ife was--especially since she was having trouble with her boyfriend. Some people will notice these things more than others. All in all, sounds like Mileena was in an abusive relationship and she was right to leave. What I am worried about, though is that she'll remember the negative things that happened over the positive.

Joy Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 20:20:58 (PDT)

Hey Ife:

It is so easy to tell just by Mileena's posts that she is the trifling argumentive type. People will treat you according to the way you present yourself. If you present yourself in a rude and negative manner, then that is how people will treat you in return. You give what you get. I have learned that from traveling all over europe and africa. I haven't been to Japan yet. I bet its beautiful there. I want to go there someday.
imaginative girl Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 18:17:38 (PDT)

Mileena, right now you are upset and you have the right to be. But I just want to say a couple of things to ya about your situation.

1. Never give your power to anyone.
Don't ever let someone try to force you to quit working. Don't allow someone to take over your life. Thats why it was given to you by The Creator.

2. You will get over the hurt eventually. Just remain positive. Come to see the brighter side of this situation.

3. Last but not least, respect and love yourself more. If you don't know how to, get yourself a good self help book. Iyanla Vanzant is a good author to look into.

I just hope you will be okay. You have a safe flight on your way back home. Jah Bless you girl and your addition to this world.

Peace.

Third Eye Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 16:58:27 (PDT)

up in MI i don't see dat many black female and asian male relationships. I like asian guys to just like black guys but the asian guys seem soo shy... or just not intrested.
*~Justa kidz view*~ Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 16:50:08 (PDT)

Ife, everyones experience of Japan will not be as pleasant as your experience has been. Besides Mileena, has a right to feel what she feels. She surely doesn't need to be knocked down from the likes of you as it is. You are always so judgemental. She has stated her comment and that is how she feels and sees japanese people where she stayed. You don't even know this young lady and here you are already starting "ish." Your comment wasn't needed. What kind of advice are you here to give? Sounds like you are here to promote your "glorious" marriage about as usual. You need to check yourself. I rather be myself in Japan or anywhere else then be some wanna be docile wife in order to make my man and his family feel comfortable around me so I can be accepted. Grin and cheese all you like Ife. But you shouldn't condemn others just because your experience has been different. You never have anything positive or optimistic to say to anyone.
Third Eye Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 16:47:35 (PDT)

Ife,

You're back? I thought that you would be too busy to be online all the time. I thought you just had a baby yourself?
Hellafineaswine Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 15:04:22 (PDT)

Wafflestomper,

No Asian man with a good job and a good future is going to put a noose around his neck by dating, much less marrying, a black female who sounds bitchy like Mileena, and especially a black female with a illegitimate baby! Why should any Asian man lower himself like that?
Hellafineaswine Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 15:01:34 (PDT)

Ife,

You are correct. Japan is nothing like what Mileena described. People will stare and whisper only if something is not right.

Mileena must be behaving inappropriately or something. Maybe dressing too freaky or too loud in public. This must be the reason she is so uncompfortable. My girlfriend is a Black Woman and she loves Tokyo. She always say the people are friendly with her.
Mileena is full of s*** Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 13:08:51 (PDT)

I have a question regarding the female strenth. Many of us know about the equal rights for women marches back in the late 60's early 70's, right? Why was the WF's bitching & moaning looked at as girlpower, yet BF's are seen as manly? Even in some movies, a White heroine is looked at as a strong, brave role model for young girls. Everyone has this, "We CAN Do It" attitude. I haven't seen any Black heroines, yet everyone wants to call us masculine. Masculine? What's the difference between what WFs were fighting for in the 70's & what BFs had been doing for centuries (let's not forget the Spice Girls' "girlpower" in all of this)? If it weren't for STRONG BLACK WOMEN our race would have been handed to the devil on a silver platter!

Siouxsie Without Her Banshees Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 07:32:25 (PDT)

insider,

are you male or female?
rocky road Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 03:12:26 (PDT)

Well Mileena,

I'm sorry that all of it had happened to you. I hope that it doesn't affect your views on the other asian men in this world. I'm sure there are better apples in this bushel we call our world.

Things like this does take time-maybe not immediately-but only time will tell. If your boyfriend was abusive, I don't blame you for leaving. Also, I hope (that when your baby comes) that he or she will be taught the true value of love and life.

May you come home safe and sound, and I hope you end up with a better asian lover (one who is willing to love you and your baby-and treat you better)

Wafflestomper sending warm fuzzies Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 00:07:24 (PDT)

I am seeing more am/bw couples these days. I've always thought the Asian families would not welcome a black woman.
sedonya sedonya99@webtv.net Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 13:14:55 (PDT)

I've lived in Japan and worked in Japan and speak fluent Japanese and I'm a black woman married to a Korean. Mileena, all of your problems are in your head because I've never experienced the things you are talking about. If the Japanese are staring at you and whispering about you, you must be doing something to cause them to behave that way! You sound like the angry black woman stereotype who will act up in public, fight with your boyfriend in public or cause a scene. If you show that you don't have any dignity, then the Japanese people will start to stare at you and talk about you. If your boyfriend is popular and his friends were upset with him getting serious with you, they now have a good reason to have felt that way. Now you're pregnant and not married and with his child. It wouldn't matter if you have a good college education or if you come from a decent, respectable family. Your behavior is saying that you are not decent, respectable or dignified. You can't move to Japan, act ghetto and expect to be treated like a queen.
Ife Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 12:24:55 (PDT)

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